Alien Vaping Technology

Seventy-One years and eleven days ago, a crash on a ranch near Roswell, New Mexico set curiosities in motion as interest in this “flying disc” was downplayed by US Armed Forces who claimed the strange object involved in the crash was a mere weather balloon.

Countless believers to this day claim that this was a cover-up and the extraterrestrial beings were transported, along with their ship, to an undisclosed location where they were tested on and observed, and where they could possibly still remain today.

EightVape makes no mistake in turning a blind eye to suspicious extraterrestrial activity. Being in the Las Vegas desert, not far from Area 51, the site of the infamous Black Mailbox (which as of 2015, has vanished), and Extraterrestrial Highway, plenty of us here are believers. And a select few of us claim to be actual eye witnesses to spectacular out-of-this world events.

With our scientifically inclined minds and fantastical curiosities, we often combine the two world views of merely believers of the mystic and advocates in the search for the truth. In this, we have devised a scientific theory based on the mysticism of alien life.

When the aliens crashed, what vaping devices might they have crashed with? Are some of the advancements in vaping technology the result of years of scientific lockdown of extraterrestrials as they reveal their secrets of vaping unto the government officials observing them, to then sell this tech to big vaping companies in Shenzhen, China or right here in the United States?

We dove into our archive of products, dug deep in our warehouses, and asked some of our most prominent vaping experts and extraterrestrial truth-seekers we have on site at EightVape to find products that we conclude must be birthed from the advanced minds of other worldly alien beings.

This theory begins with the advancements of RDA’s and RTA’s. Why do people use rebuilds when they can simply purchase ready to use coils and atomizers? Could it be that the aliens have taught their observers too much? Could aliens be so good at constructing their own devices that the government couldn’t comprehend this ability, so they released the raw materials unto the vaping community as an experiment to see if human beings are as advanced in coil building technology as our extraterrestrial counter parts? Which very products are we using that have come straight from the minds of aliens?

 #1 Ohm Boy x Desire Range Squonk 155W Mod and the Silverplay RTA

One look at this combination of devices and one can only assume one thing: Aliens. Lets start with the strange markings on the mod. What does that V stand for? Not Ohm Boy, not Desire. It could be for vape… but look closer. Is that even a V at all? It looks like an un-side-down, inverted number 4 and a number 7…

47… 1947… the year of the Roswell UFO Incident.

Then there is the design of this Mod. It’s a squonk mod. “Squonk”... an alien word if ever there was one. Perhaps not even a word. Perhaps its just the sound the aliens made while construing Squonking technology, that we humans cannot translate.

The “Squonk” is also the name of a mythical creature said to lurk the Hemlock Forest in Pennsylvania. Could this be a cheeky nod to other “folklore” creatures that may actually roam the earth? Or that did once roam the earth… and are now in captivity by the US government.

The Silverplay RTA is an advanced tank that looks to be made just for this mod and shows some suspicious alien symbolism upon further inspection.

All of the letters in the word Silverplay on this RTA are connected and upright.

Aside from one.

The A is disconnected to all letters aside from Y. The A is also remarkably slanted unlike the others, and bares a striking resemblance to one of the main roads seen in aerial shots of Area 51. As for its connection to the letter Y, this could be the code as to what room or cell they are held in. Room Y.

Or the connection point of the Y and A could be the precise location of where the aliens are being held.

Another theory is Y is the 25th letter in the alphabet, multiplied by two is 50… just 1 number shy of 51. Could this mean that the aliens are missing 1 as well… one of their own?  

#2 The GeekVape Ammit MTL RDA and the VooPoo Drag 157W Mod

The VooPoo Drag mod has the fastest firing speed in a mod of 0.025 seconds, which is highly advanced and almost unheard of. This speed is thanks to the powerful GENE chip... powered by the powerful genes of aliens in chipset form?

This mod is programmable using the VooPoo app. However this app is only for Windows PC. Could it be that Apple doesn’t want its products to be accessible to alien technology? Or is one of our worlds most wealthiest businessmen Bill Gates somehow connected to this alien vaping research funded by the US Government? Does he want this alien technology to be in his monopoly? Does he secretly fund this extraterrestrial research?

Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen did fund scientists through means of a $11.5m donation who were building technology based on the principles of the Drake Equation; A seven term equation used to estimate the number of communicating civilizations in the cosmos whose electromagnetic emissions are detectable. Is Microsoft so involved with the advanced vaping technology they’re willing to invest millions of dollars to find even more aliens? 

The designs on this mod are exceptionally interesting. The psychedelic resin patterns are some that can only be described as appearing like another galaxy, or a realm we have never as humans experienced.

The GeekVape Ammit RDA sports a similar tip to that of the Silverplay. These tips are not seen as commonly through out the vaping world and could be the result of an overseen design flaw, making them the perfect shape for the mouths of extra terrestrials, however not commonly preferred among humans.

#3 The iJoy Limitless RTA and The Pioneer4You iPV Xyanide

The iJoy Limitless RTA really hits a lot of notes we already mentioned; A strange tip uncommonly seen in more popular tanks, and strange symbolism.

Look closely. That embelm on it could be a symbol for the idea of limitless ideas as the triangle seemingly has no beginning or end. But doesn’t it also look a lot like the inverted 4 and upright seven on the Ohm Boy x Desire Range Mod? The symbol is also surrounded by a ring of stars, an indication of its out-of-this world concept, representing limitless technological advancements that can only be achieved through the guides of more advanced life forms beyond our stars.

As for the Pioneer4You iPV Xyanide? Look closely at the bottom. The arrangement of the three buttons in coordination of the Micro USB charging port… looks an awful lot like a familiar face.